Beerphorisms from the Paperbag Lounge at the Parkbench Hotel
Copyright 2012 by Larry Ziman
1) Been there. Done that. Been that. Done there.
2) Don’t small the sweat stuff.
3) If you can’t get even, get odd. If you can’t get odd, get out.
4) Whatever you do, have fun. If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong.
5) Have a nice life. I hope all your dreams come true. Just keep me the hell out of them.
6) The problem is not THE PROBLEM. THE PROBLEM is your attitude toward the problem.
7) Romance: two mirrors exchanging reflections on the nature of glass.
8) Man’s mission on earth is to get off earth before earth goes off on man.
9) Broke happens when you have no money in your pocket; broke-broke when you have no money in the bank; broke-broke-broke when nobody else will give you or lend you a penny; broke-broke-broke-broke when you have nothing to sell for money but your blood and your body; and that’s when you’re dead broke.
10) Every dumbass question deserves a smartass answer.
11) Your heart’s in the right place but your head’s up your ass.
12) A writer who writes something that goes without saying belabors the obvious.
13) If you can’t handle it, fondle it.
14) Common dollars can’t buy common sense.
15) Poetry Business is Show Business (Po-biz iz sho-biz).
16) The penis is one sword mightier than the pen.
17) Catch 666: factory farms, slaughterhouses, meatprocessing plants.
18) Love is living up to another person’s expectations of what you have to do to make that person happy?
19) Hell is living with the wrong people!
20) The three basic elements of writing are work (diligence), craft (intelligence), and art (experience).
21) Gamblers are goddess-junkies who worship Lady Luck.
22) God gave you free will to give up your free will to another’s free will.
23) So what do you do for a living? I do just fine.
24) I love you (but not as much as I love myself).
25) Marry looks and you marry a divorce!
26) Nobody loves you like my body loves you.
27) You’re not the only noodle in my soup.
28) Do you have a pucking froblem or just a froblem pucking?
29) Better ugly than stupid.
30) Freedom from pain and suffering is a crime against inhumanity.
31) And she said, “Strip off the veneer of civilization and come face to face with the primeval force of mother nature.”
32) If you put all of the agents of the government in a closet, is the government in the closet?
33) “We are not from the government,” said the people. “We are the government.”
34) “We are from the government,” said the agents of the government to the people. “And we are here to help you . . . out of everything you own because we need what’s yours more than you do.”
35) The Law of Necessity = The Law of the Jungle = The Law of the Savage = The Rule of Law by People Above the Law.
36) When the rule of thumb replaces the rule of law, whose thumb will you be under?
37) The end justifies the means means that you do what you gotta do to get what you gotta get.
38) Divorce is a weapon men and women use to impoverish and enslave each other.
39) If a woman is a weapon of man destruction, a man is a weapon of woman destruction.
40) Ladies who happily embrace femininity, who are affectionate and compassionate, who greatly enjoy the company of gentlemen, who have exquisite taste in all things and who always act with supreme class in whatever they do, are truly rare. Likewise, gentlemen who happily embrace masculinity, who are affectionate and compassionate, who greatly enjoy the company of ladies, who have exquisite taste in all things and who always act with supreme class in whatever they do, are truly so.
41) Poetry uses pointed words to make a fatuously petty point, a preeningly pithy point or some other pointy point pointedly in between.
42) Skool Skull: kolij nolij, dedhed; dedhed, mute muse.
43) Los Angeles is a hysterical city of hallucinatory sorcery trying to conjure up a hilarious civilization.
44) Killing time writing thoughts and feelings on paper without craft may be fun but never art.
45) Flimflam chitchat, disposable prefabricated factory poetry, masquerades as experi-mental avant-garde (are)t, a deadbeat charade of the soap-opera poetry follies camouflaging the belly-up effluvia of trivolous frivia.
46) The Good Old Boys Club doesn’t rule the world because when a good old boy dies his little old lady gets the bread, and it’s The Little Old Ladies Club that runs it all.
47) Humanity falls ever deeper into an abyss of thundering desperation trying to soothe away the lingering unease shadowing the world.
48) ORDO AB CHAO (order out of chaos – meaning tyranny, slavery and poverty ([the fist] replacing freewill, goodwill and selfrule [the open hand]) is a demonic slogan of a diabolical conspiracy to set up a satanic one-world hierarchy of unconditional obedience to absolute authority on pain of death whose rules of fascist thumb are play both ends against the middle, deceive by smoke and mirrors and sleight of mind, divide and conquer, the end justifies the means, might makes right, strong never wrong, survival of the fittest, kill or be killed, and winner take all which altogether mean: Do as you’re told or, tough shit, suffer and die!
49) Politics always was and always will be preparation for war. And war ever was and ever will be population control by killing off countless seeds of future generations.
50) The United States of America have become the Altered States of Consciousness.
51) The world is as it is. Or is it?
52) If disembodied beings from the spirit world are coming to get you, go into an altered state of consciousness and escape into a parallel universe.
53) If higher intelligences from hidden dimensions are directing the course of events of your life against your will, go into an altered state of consciousness and escape into the pure cosmic M(EYE)ND of G(AWE)D.
53) We are all civilly dead and this is the uncivil afterlife. (Civiliter Mortuous Non In Rerum Natura)
54) The-forces-of-darkness are the-powers-that-be behind closed doors who, while trying to take over the whirled, think they own and run it.
55) Elitism means rubbing elbows with the elite of the elite at a discreet elite retreat.
56) Every person, including any artificial entity such as any corporation, any government and any all-capital-letter-name nul-tiel ens-legis, is a private-citizen merchant in commerce using false privy tokens loaded with badges of fraud to discharge obligations to pay money.
57) The ruse of discourse posing as poetry ploys the imagination.
58) All the time in the world won’t make you as happy as great company.
59) If you are feeling overwhelmed by it all, you have reason to celebrate.
60) Paid volunteers are pretty ugly and nothing much else.
61) Poets are trope troopers traipsing across a battlefield of conflicting emotions.
62) Ants climbing trees defines the s-ants of poetry.
63) Fragmentists, practitioners of fragmentism, the most common form of contemporary poetry, frag themselves and their readers with poem fragments called creative writing.
64) Poems p(home) m(eye)nd.
65) He talked to himself as he walked down the bus aisle when he stopped and cried out, “Someone please tell me what planet I’m on.”
66) Bukowski perfected bars poetica.
67) Temporary love expires at midnight. You can’t take it to the bank.
68) Inscrutable miasma art brainfogs the mind.
69) Artists book passage to the unpredictable imagination.
70) Poets dabble playfully in the impossibilities of language.
71) Bacchus boycotts the party bar of con-temporary poetry.
72) If you think you’re smart enough to figure it all out yourself, then you’re dum enough to try.
73) If being different is different than you want to be, run with the bored horde.
74) Mother nature and father culture give birth to civilization.
75) The ruling elite above the law and the unruly outside the law flout the rule of law because they think they are a law unto themselves.
76) A noet is a semi-amateur poet starving in a garret practicing the loneliest art of writing semi-amateur poetry called noetry.
77) When politicians say ‘the truth of the matter is’ or ‘the fact of the matter is,’ you know they don’t know what they’re talking about.
78) If you’re smart enough to know that you don’t know, then you’re smart enough to know that you’re dum.
79) Why do poets think they’re prophets writing scriptures for posterity when posterity couldn’t care less?
80) The Diffy Cult of Poetry exclaims that the reader’s path to comprehension of a poem should be as difficult as the poet’s process of creating the poem so that the reader would experience that unexpectedly sudden epiphany exactly as the poet experienced it.
81) The future reflected on storefront windows is only visible to the absent-minded ones who are not the self-satisfied, self-content, self-centered, self-conscious, self-absorbed, self-obsessed self-advertised people.
82) Justice means and only means truth be told.
83) Avant-garde backwater poet-rebels are unruly artists in revolt undermining and overthrowing the literary status quo of the politically-correct post-modern poeseurs of the mainstream poetry establishment.
84) Capitalism – mess with my capital ‘n’ I’ll cap ya.
85) Become a Secret-Society Mystery-School Initiate (NSE8) and meet interesting, exciting, other-dimensional beings by going into an altered state of consciousness, having an out-of-body after-death experience, travelling around the spirit worlds and communing with disembodied beings and the spirits of the dead.
86) If you are angry at the world of injustice and inhumanity, you can make a difference, but only if you become a champion for justice and humanity and only if you stand up and speak out and fight with all you have for what you believe in your heart and mind will make your community and your country a better place to work, to play and to raise a healthy, prosperous and happy family.
87) To think things through you need to think things over.
88) If you are lonely and longing for bad new-fashioned human contact, watch television.
89) When you order a round of drinks, you are reenacting that moment when King Arthur ordered the first original round for himself and his knights at the Round Table while they discussed Lancelot and Guenevere fooling around behind the King’s back.
90) Spiritual matter and material spirit occupy the same space simultaneously all at the same time in unison together.
91) Status Quo Joe, a true conservative, likes things just the way they are.
92) Debunk mindjunk.
93) Hillary and Bill Clinton: femme fatale and enfant terrible in a tour-de-force film-noire classic.
94) Political promises are make-believe love – an impostor’s hurlyburly hankypanky imposture imposing false impressions of truly true truth.
95) Do not get involved with remote-controlled people.
96) Purge the urge to splurge.
97) We all know it can’t do it all but it’s all over the place trying to live all of our lives as if only it knows best what’s best for us all. (tnemnrevog)
98) Deep-fried brains cause mind plaque.
99) When love becomes a country face-down in the gutter, think about changing planets.
100) To get to the root of the matter, think beneath the box.
101) The backside of the mirror knows intuitively that everything is moving away from everything.
102) Deeptheenk prevents problems; serendipity helps you remove them.
103) A man who argues with a woman is a man who’s always wrong not because of what he’s arguing about but just because he’s arguing.
104) Jungle savagery, otherwise known as nepotism, cronyism, fascism, tryanny, totalitarianism, authoritarianism, absolutism, satanism, liberalism, socialism, communism, tribalism and cannibalism, is based on jungle law which is, on pain of death, unconditional obedience to the absolute authority of the jungle savage with the power of life and death over all.
105) The Cybelization of civilization, unconditional obedience to the absolute authority of some law other than the moral law of free will, good will and self-rule, is the apotheosis of apostacy.
106) Art contemplates not only the human condition and the meaning of life but also the inhuman condition and the meaning of death.
107) Administrative agencies perpetrate and perpetuate presumptions of ccorrectness (color of law) when they prosecute in administrative tribunals administrative claims in equity (presumptions of correctness/color of law) which have no form or substance in law.
108) Is authority the truth or is truth the authority?
109) Under a cloak of secrecy a power elite, unelected and unknown to the masses in a democracy, controls the authority of the state.
110) A painter is a poet who gave up words a long time ago.
111) Black magic, practiced by black magicians using sleight of hand and sleight of mind, keeps you in the dark where you not only lose your way but, through subterfuge, camouflage, masquerade, and charade duping you into a confidence game you are not even aware of, you lose some precious thing rightfully yours when you meant to gain something precious in the end.
112) Never let temporary pleasure destroy a long-term goal.
113) The nose knows more than the toes knows.
114) If you get a foot in the door, leave your ego on the floor.
115) Every human endeavor has a hierarchy and a lowerarchy.
116) News Flash – Another insane killing rampage by an out-of-control lonely person on antidepressants.
117) The Alien Abductee Cookbook for Intergalactic Travel discovered on a time machine voyaging far back into Earth’s distant past was renamed My Neighbor’s Pet Tyrannosaur Ate This Cookbook and Became a Vegetarian.
118) Indecipherability is the highest achievement of the lowest-common-denominator poetry.
119) See-thru thong bikinis reveal the secret graveyards of rogue L. F. Ants.
120) Welcome to the Nude Whirled Whoredear.
121) If madmen were to rule the world, madness would reign on a madhouse planet.
122) Govern(men)t is rule by a cabal of men above the law and govern(man)t is rule by executive order.
123) To set up hell on earth, rouse the rabble to rise up and turn society into heaps of rubble and ash.
124) If life’s worth living, is death worth dying?
125) Walls around walls around walls reek of tyranny.
126) War means cities become cemeteries and buildings tombstones.
127) Law spelled backward is wal.
128) Bone-thin anorexic cokewhore poems hug the left side of the bulemic white page.
129) The gambler’s mantra is: I don’t care who loses as long as it’s never me, and I don’t care who wins as long as it’s always me.
129) Poker players dissembling that they are semi-amateurs working toward their amateur status are the true sneaky professionals.
130) Bad beats in poker are rotten vegetables.
131) When the cards beat you, you are trapped in a losing hand.
132) Attack ‘em, smack ‘em and whack ‘em; slice ‘em, dice ‘em and ice
‘em; and go berserk, run amok and wreak havoc are the only ways to play poker.
133) Junk-card superstars play marginal hands in bad position and destroy the table.
134) In poker there are four kinds of hands: bluff, fluff, stuff, and nuff. In a bluff hand, you have nothing and you bet as if you have the double nuts. In a fluff hand, you have something and you bet as if you have the nuts and a half. And in a stuff hand, you actually have the nuts but you slow play your hand as if you have nothing. When you win with any of these three hands, then you have a nuff hand.
135) Nuclear Holocaust: sand dunes neanderthaling across the void.
136) Nuclear War: atoms atomizing adams.
137) Fart for fart’s sake stinks up the shiterary landscape.
138) Nonpoets read nonpoetry at nonpoetry readings.
139) L-egant Intellig-ants, become OBD-ants, belong, believe, and behave.
140) While waiting for the messiah to gather up the chosen, exuberant marionettes infatuated with irregular intervals inadvertently get a glimpse of hypothetical love making itself presentable for its destination to oblivion.
160) Poets act like fringelings parading on life’s periphery.
161) A minor poet is an underage rhymster.
162) Great poetry is, of course, spectacular oracular vernacular.
163) Humerica will always be home to experimentally experimental experimenters experimenting experimentally.
164) Materialism materializes when life’s meaning’s life’s means.
165) Sects appeal fronts for religious fanaticism.
166) Evil means to gain noble ends, noble means to gain evil ends, and evil means to gain evil ends encompass the spectrum of evil.
167) Snobbery sadistically shows itself to be that quotidian human condition wherein quintessential human nature is spiritually corrupted by a pathologically extravagant strain of satanically-inspired self-absorption syndrome.
169) Your mind of minds knows in your heart of hearts that the powers-that-be-behind-closed-doors are all mad men and mad women living in a madhouse of their own design called the established social order.
170) You can’t get old without feeling old.
171) A destitute prostitute institute constitutes a bankrupt whorehouse.
172) An avant-garde prostitute would more aptly be called a whortist or a whorthete.
173) Wars are man-made hate affairs with not much in common with love affairs except that love affairs sometimes end up as man-made and woman-made hate affairs when love affairs fare ill.
174) Derivatives are paper feces blasted out of Wall Street’s ass.
175) You’re so dum you can’t tell farts from turds.
176) The difference between love and hate is love can happen at first sight, but hate will happen at first slight.
177) Your m(high)nd of m(eye)nds knows in your h(ear)t of he(arts) that the poetry-(pow!)ers-that-be-behind-closed-doors, the ill(litter)airy f(horses) of d(ark)nest, are mad men and mad women living in a madh(ow!)se of their own des(I)gn called the e(stab)lished poetreek ordure.
178) Shit happens. Don’t be a toilet.
179) 99.99% of all poetry ever written is a hojpoj garbaj baraj of mumbo jumbo gumbo, in other words junk mail.
180) Science and art unzip the fly of God.
181) A writer must have a subversive imagination to be an avant-garde assassin of contemporary literature.
182) Avant-garde artists are unruly slaves in revolt undermining and overthrowing the artistic status quo.
183) The Infallibility of the Willy-Nilly Liberal Mind Set Concerning the People: You don’t know what’s good for you, and even if you did, it wouldn’t matter, because we’re going to do what we think is good for you, whether you like it or not.
184) Curiosity: consciousness looking up reality’s dress.
185) You can trick a donkey but you can’t fool a mule.
186) Men who think with their penises mistakenly think they’re geniuses.
187) Don’t hang around with smart people. All they do is try to outsmart you. Hang around with dum people. They can’t outsmart you. All they can do is outdum you.
188) Starving poets write oweds.
189) In no-limit hold-’em poker, just because you got it (before the flop, on the flop, or on the turn), doesn’t mean you get it unless you’ve got the absolute stone-cold mortal-lock triple-trouble nuts on the river.
190) Dying beats the shit out of you and rips your guts out. Then Death turns out your lights. They’re both a couple of assholes.
191) An army of one is soon an army of none.
192) In America you get your ‘say’ but you get no ‘sayso.’
193) Civilization looks in the mirror and sees an uneasy truce between governance and populace.
194) Grab time (carpe diem) with all your heart and all your mind before time is gone without looking back even for a fraction of a moment.
195) Livin’ high off the hog for you, buddy, is livin’ way too high off my hog, pal.
196) Culture looks into the mirror and sees scantily-clad imaginations frolicking in the seas of time.
197) Originality: invention challenging convention to a showdown.
198) Hubris happens when, as a point of honor, you express a strong opinion on something you know absolutely nothing about.
199) Poetry’s post-mortem: Although poetry may be dead, great poems will live on forever.
200) Censorship: the authorities authorizing authors to authenticate authority.
201) What it’s all about is where it’s at and where it’s at is all about babes.
202) Bowwowet, the dog laureate of bowwowetry, is a cat with no lives.
203) Boredom, that metaphysical monster, haunts the nightmare labyrinth of meaningless consciousness.
204) If you think you’re the Tyrannosaurus Rex at the poker table, you’re suffering from the Pokersaurus Hex.
205) You get old, you get ugly, you get sick, and then you die.
206) You know what kills the boy in the man? The woman he lives with!
207) No one in particular taking it all in stride speaks for itself.
208) Silence, ridding itself of language, swallows itself whole and comes face to face with time’s mirror-image gesticulating at emptiness.
209) Inanity, inadequacy, and ineptitude are the “in” things in poetry today.
210) The end of civilization as we know it is the start of civilization as we don’t know it.
211) Living a life without passion is pretending to live a life created in God’s image.
212) The Gods versus God is a mirror-image conflict where one side of the coin opposes the other.
213) Layer by layer, critics strip off the clothes of a poem until the poem is invisible under the glare of its own nudity.
214) Courting the Goddess and looking for loveliness while fleeing the revolution lasts a lifetime.
215) Bums, street mystics, probe garbage cans for the means of life.
216) Power over others is exercised by power under others.
217) The future of poetry belongs to the Poetry Wars between Poetry Collections and Collections of Poems.
218) The next big thing in poetry? Poems!
219) Bhudda was the first jazzman – boo-dah boodee-bee-dah.
220) A woman is the most dangerous animal known to man.
221) When the woman becomes the man in the family, she’s married to herself.
222) When the man becomes the woman in the family, he becomes the girl she used to be.
223) Awe, consciously conscious consciousness of really real reality, is the ultimate inevitability of unfathomable curiosity.
224) Bad Luck, that dirty rotten bitch with a barracuda smile, drools along your lips with a lover’s guile.
225) Thinking about d(eat)h is like watching acid rain walking toward you to dissolve you.
226) If all the years of your life have been a necklace of tears, death will be a crown of laughter.
227) If you challenge the status quo and keep challenging the status quo, eventually the status quo will challenge you back.
228) A chance acquaintance you meet by chance, and if you meet that chance acquaintance by chance again, that chance acquaintance becomes a nodding acquaintance, and if by chance you meet that nodding acquaintance again, that nodding acquaintance becomes a casual acquaintance, and if you meet that casual acquaintance by chance again, that casual acquaintance becomes a close acquaintance.
229) Illusions camouflage the labyrinth invisible to the veiled eye.
230) I don’t know what planet I’m from, but when the rest of us get here, you’re all in big trouble.
231) Artists, connoisseurs of consciousness, found dynasties of taste.
232) Astronauts are revolutionaries shooting it out with gravity.
233) Killing each of us, God rehearses a death not to be.
234) Poetry is the craft of writing that creates the work of art called poem.
235) A poem is the work of art created by the craft of writing called poetry.
236) If you can’t take it with you, don’t leave.
237) Aging’s anonymous inevitabilities sabotage tomorrow.
238) If greed is good and more greed is gooder, most greed is goodest.
239) Raising in poker is making the wrinkled-grape-move.
240) A bitch is a two-legged fist.
241) Heart crumbles into its jilted footprint at the speed of freefall love.
242) Idolatry (Satanism) is unconditional obedience on pain of death to absolute authority with the power of life and death over all.
243) Bubble people wear their cars outside their cars, and if you get too close, they roll their windows up and drive away.
244) Poems are petrified words on fossilized pages scattered in the ruins of an ancient library in 4,444,444 A.D. where the authorities have outlawed poetry as the revolutionary tool of artistic imaginations trying to overthrow involuntaryism.
245) If the modern man’s insecure in bed, tie his arms and legs with the sheets instead of letting him roam all over the mattress looking for the perfect twenty-year-old mistress.
246) What the fuck does ‘what the fuck’ mean, and who the fuck thought ‘what the fuck’ up, and who the fuck thought ‘who the fuck’ up, and what the fuck does ‘who the fuck’ mean?
247) L(if)e carnas in and carnas out.
248) Love is gland to gland combat on the slippery slopes of romance.
249) Yes, you see, the thing is, actually, you know, it seems to be, all right then, that you need to believe in something, well, yeah, but, and because, ah, where was I, oh yes, now, to continue .
250) People don’t eat because they’re hungry. People eat so they won’t get hungry.
251) Become a member, become a number.
252) Lhiv phor thuh phun ovit.
253) Tyrants turn a blind eye to the law and a deaf ear to the people.
254) Mooch Welfare Bureau. Your problem is our problem. How can we help?
255) Messiah Ministries. Seemore Seeless speaking. Do you need savioring?
256) The Talking Dead, a f(whore)ce to be unreckoned with, suffer from congestive art failure, comotose con-shush-noise, and rigormortis m(eye)nd.
257) Guise and Ruse play both ends against the middle.
258) Bore-nographer poets write bore-nography poetry.
259) There are two kinds of people in the world – people who divide people into kinds and people who don’t.
260) Good to great poems must be published over and over and over again or otherwise they disappear into oblivion as if they had never been written at all.
261) Who knows where he was before he was conceived knows where he was when he wasn’t. Who knows where he’ll be after he be dead knows where he’ll be when he be not.
262) The Modern Man gets out of bed and goes to work to make the Modern Woman perfectly happy. The Modern Woman gets into bed and goes to work to make the Modern Man perfectly happy.
263) Manimal, that domesticated animal, wears walls. A civilized cannibal, he eats other earthlings because they don’t eat him.
264) A man’s thing the woman’s thing gets a thing about when the man’s thing gets a thing about the woman.
265) The elevator always stops at the V.I.P. Floors, nine, five, and three. The Very Invisible People are going shopping.
266) I didn’t open the door, but it still got thru. The poem entered without knocking like a voyeur’s eye thru a keyhole.
267) Men despise women who try to kill the little boy in men and make them all man.
268) The cleaning lady “Sleep” brings her sweeper to his mind and vacuums consciousness.
The silent dark of her machine cleans out reality’s nest.
269) Technology overwhelms the mindless biologic state by massing computer armies on the borders of mind’s face and blitzkrieging electrically the uninhabited space between mind’s tickertaped cheekbones and mind’s untied shoelace.
271) To overthrow the status quo you got to pay your blues. If you can’t afford to think alone, your thoughts will be old news.
272) Some people think the right to lead is the right to break the law. This outlaw notion of leadership leads to tyranny over all.
273) Life is short and life is sweet and always knocks you off your feet,
but never cry and don’t despair because you can always buy more underwear.
274) She was fat and she was ugly and she said she was too old and she said she wasn’t touchable anymore but he would have tried her if only she had smiled.
275) The separation of church and state guarantees freedom of awe. The separation of school and state would create freedom of thought.
276) Erotical doings homosexual are skipped by those heterosexual. They don’t emulate homogenians. They like their sex heterogenian.
277) When you’ve got it all and it’s still not enough and your cravings bawl for more and more stuff and you know no end to this insane need, you’re suffering, friend, from quote unquote greed.
278) The problem with the modern woman is she thinks she’s the modern man, but that’s just half of her dilemma – she’s the man who hates all women.
279) A man’s gotta do what a man’s gotta do especially when cornered.
280) Poet, that heavyweight boxer of literature, can knock out the reader in twenty punches or less while the novelist needs fifteen rounds.
281) If a woman’s place is in the home and a man’s place is in the woman when he’s not in the other woman, most women would rather be some place else.
282) Shovers of religion down your throat don’t know the way to your heart lies between five smiles of joy and one big eyeful of awe.
283) You need peripheral vision to see into the peripheral dimension where peripheral creatures live peripheral lives peripherally.
284) Avantgarde ideologicals murder technologically for breaking terminologically the rules of demagogicals.
285) Those men who question one-party rule don’t like the booze that’s been served. They’d rather the punch in the one-party bowl wasn’t served with the one-party hearse.
286) To catch the public eye you got to wear short hearts and low-cut minds and show the world your parts.
287) When life backfires and boomerangs and fun ricochets off your face, it’s time to rethink paradise and hope happiness comes to play. When love backfires and boomerangs and joy ricochets off your face, it’s time to rethink happiness and hope paradise comes to stay.
288) Smashing beautiful illusions with the back of her hand, reality’s indifferent to the pet dreams of man.
289) When she opened her blouse, the moon popped out twice.
290) Unconventionally unconventional unconventionality is originally original originality in untraditionally untraditional untraditionality of individually individual individuality.
291) The multicolored aura around The American Dream is white dream and black dream and all dreams in between.
292) Accelerating political disarray means decelerating political stay unless the political machinery gets unglued from political chicanery.
293) Everything hideous lives in the dark except the monster state of propaganda blight and conscience-blinding hate.
294) Whenever you’re in scoring position, don’t ever throw away the ball.
295) The welfare class, the working class, and the leisure class comprise the spectrum of American society, and anybody else unpolitely excluded is probably unsuited to a state of sobriety.
296) The existing social order is command from the top of society and desire to exist without stop.
297) I’d consider love considerate, considering hate.
298) To ward off the evil eye of I-me-and-my cross your mind with ego mines and hug your hear nine times.
299) To fathom fools and foolishness takes a mind like a tommyhawk to hack thru all the stoolishness of politically correct talk.
300) If you want to be a poetry whore, leave your poetry clothes at the poetry door.
301) Dawn’s orange-bloosom lips kiss the smiling sky happy above the mountain stream laughing past our window.
302) Lonely moonlight wandering through the open window tugs at the shadow of her head on my pillow.
303) Roses are broads and violets are prudes and the universe stops when I’m in you and roses love hags and violets in drag and candy is glandy when you pop my bag.
304) A lot of people are doing a lot of looking and hoping to do a lot of finding but in the end just doing enough finding to keep them looking for more.
305) Philosophers talk of reality as if it were shimmering gossamer, thinking it’s just a skinny veil, but it’s really pink underwear.
306) As I follow life to conclusion, I know in my mind the score, and I journey toward what awaits me knowing in my heart there’s more.
307) Ideological intellectuals eat terminolgy for victuals and choke on the bones of rituals technologically ineffectual.
308) The memory of her body cartwheels through the stillness inside my bed.
309) If the beautiful lady’s no more an enchantress and love’s withered into a weathered toad and the ex-enchantress hops and ignores you, demand a divorce because it’s time to unload.
310) Never in the history of mankind has womankind been known to set up her own society and put mankind out for loan, but if ever in the history of mankind should womankind pursue it, perhaps she might just try her design around the earth in orbit.
311) I know where poets go to die. It’s poets’ heaven, that pigstye of death-enhancing poetry, creative-writing blowitry – h(I)r than the h(I)est h(I)!
312) When laughter sits across your lips, when smiles grip your thighs, when dreams sing songs around your hips, HAPPY happens by.
313) Happiness, come lay your odyssey body in the leap of freedom’s lap and grace your fable face with the taste of his mystic lips. Come sit your magic hips on his seat of mythic kings and shower your lyric power all over freedom’s seed.
314) When happenstance scares you to life and forces you to claf and sliv, perhaps you’ll grak and shrib yourself way out beyond the blinking gliv.
315) Yes, anything goes until everything goes, and that’s how it goes as it goes along.
316) Morning, noon and night it was football on TV. He watched and watched and watched and never saw her leave.
317) Dog-eat-dog capitalism is healthy for the consumer. Dog-eat-dog communism is death by sickle or hammer.
318) Hierarchical societies are ceremonially cranked pyramids of conformity to the rites and rules of clank.
319) All the chicks think he’s a wolf for chasing that bird all the cats think a pig but she’s a tigress calling him an animal for treating her like a dog when she knows she’s a fox.
320) Conformity is everybody feeling the same thing at the same time, everybody thinking the same thing at the same time, everybody doing the same thing at the same time, and everybody being the same thing at the same time.
321) On their Golden Anniversary he said he loved her more, and he confessed he still adored her all undressed.
322) The sky is blue, and the grass is green, and the blood on the ground is red, and soldiers bleed for their leaders’ greed and mothers grieve for their dead.
323) When a lady’s getting 86′d from a poetry reading for being drunk and disorderly, she lies poetically, “Hey man, take your hands off me. Can’t you see that I’m expecting a baby?”
324) Love poems include the he-wanted-to-go-to-bed-with-her poem,
the ‘he-wanted-to-go-to-bed-with-him poem, the ‘she-wanted-to-go-to-bed-with-him poem, and the she-wanted-to-go-to-bed-with-her poem.
325) Los Angeles is a parody of culture masquerading as civilization, a caricature of society hallucinating a city – a people without a home.
326) The flux of undifferentiated experience trux around in the minderience on the interstate of wholly benumbed.
327) That old poet just broke up with poetry yesterday; posterity got the poems at the custody hearing.
328) You don’t own private property. You just rent it. Don’t pay your tax, high bid gets it.
329) Roaches’ happiest moments are spent in the dark when human beings are out on a lark.
330) He was aloof to intrigue and the gossip of clix, and he wasn’t sympathetic to petty politix, but he would ask you questions about the fate of men who wonder why so many frogs get kissed by so many women.
331) See the anger behind the laughter. See the hate behind elate. See the jeer behind the cheer. See too late and meet your fate.
332) Jargon The Omnipotent rode into town on a hearse; Slogan The Omniscient greeted him with a curse; and Program The Omnivorant ate them both for dessert.
333) Intolerable dissident ideas circulate like gigantic boas brashing around the censor’s rear like a heard of stampeding die-no-seers.
334) Getting yourself out of bed to go to work, Odysseus would be proud of you heroing thru an Aegean sea of sleep to a Trojan shore of sheets and pillowcases and feats of Homeric bravery dismounting to the floor of mythological Troy.
335) At the St.-Valentine’s-Day-Massacre Open Poetry Reading they read love poems that tommygun you.
336) Killers of poets murder laughter and outlaw smiles, but they never see poetry dancing in children’s eyes.
337) Society hospitalized, two dandelions dance in the silent streets flaunting conversation at television.
338) And she sat up on the table and she saw the mess in the jar and she screamed at the top of her lungs, “Oh my god I’ve killed my baby?” and she never saw him again and that was the end of that.
339) A bloodshot sunrise oozed vitreously into her eyes as she blinked twice and saw God reciting poetry at the back fence of creation.
340) Dud bird heard dude cow whored deed pig hired dead fish – vulture culture.
341) A lady goes to church, kneels down, and prays to God, “God, dear God, gimme a break, will ya?’ and after several moments of silence God says, “How’s about a clutch, lady? I’m all out of brakes.”
342) A Free Society is conventional conventionality, unconventional conventionality, conventional unconventionality, and unconventional unconventionality.
343) Free Enterprise is private enterprise licensed, taxed, and publicly supervised, public enterprise unlicensed, untaxed, and privately supervised, public enterprise unlicensed, untaxed, and publicly supervised, or private enterprise unlicensed, untaxed, and privately supervised?
344) Big-game poetry herds run the streets at the corner of Turk and Taylor, but you must hire a reality guide and the right word porter to get to their state of mind, and if you reach their experience jungle, you must stalk these sidewalk carnivores with the wildest imagination, or they’ll eat your inspiration alive, and if you get their elusive meanings in the lyrical sights of poetry’s rifle, take aim with absolute metaphor, or they’ll trample your poem as they stampede off the page.
345) If you can’t get it up, man, you have DDS, more commonly known as Down Dick Syndrome.
346) B 4 U tri 2 run the whirl, w(awe)k thee yoon uv urth.
347) If looks could kill, all the beautiful people would have bullets for teeth, and every time they’d smile, we’d be shot dead.
348) While waiting for the messiah to gather up the chosen, exuberant marionettes, infatuated with irregular intervals, inadvertently get a wistful glimpse of hypothetical love searching for incontrovertible evidence of its next destination.
349) Baffling babbling of pathological ideologicals disintegrating into flycovered corpses of graveyarded heads of state morbidly bids badguy buddies to use riotdogs to keep their tombstones graffitifree & shining in the dark wilderness of deathdealing eyes watching out for their prophesied return to the glamorous land of the glorified living dead.
350) If you can’t say what you mean, then you can’t say what you don’t mean because if you can say what you don’t mean, you can mean what you don’t say only if you can say what you mean when you mean you can’t say it.
351) Which witch watched which witch watching which witch’s watch?
352) As she willingly laid down on his bed, she sensuously whispered in his ear, “More than willing would be more willing and more than more willing would be most willing.”
353) Gonad nomads peter in and peter out from babes, baboons and bimbo buffoons washing their machines in Number 2 Paradise 200 miles above your misty blue eyes aurally sexing the universe before sunrise.
354) And she said, “I should know stars better all this time on my back, but he gets in the way.”
355) She said that she couldn’t stand ugly people, and he said: “Lady, if you were a 700-pound gorilla with an 800-pound I.Q., I’d swim to Mars and back just to talk to you.”
356) Go pick a fight with the universe if you can’t stand the life you live and knock the galaxy out of its course if your consciousness acts like a sieve when you ask yourself what it’s all about and why you were born to die and who is going to remember your name if you don’t have a family.
357) 4 whores & 7 beers ago highered breeders bred far up in cunts untouched a nude noshun luv free cum in lust kix bare all.
358) Meanwhile in the meantime for the most part I mostly while away eternity while waiting for her return from infinitely infinite infinity.
359) Freedom of speech means the right to say FUCK YOU, and Freedom of speech means the right to say FUCK OFF, and Freedom of speech means the right to say YOU STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE AND I’LL STAY THE FUCK OUT OF YOURS.
360) Low Coup #Fwhore: Lock ywhore dwhore to keep in ywhore neighbwhorehood whore.
361) Most dreams are fish you can’t catch.
362) Two life forms are lower than a low life – a lower life and a lowest life.
363) Beware the poker player who raises and says, “I didn’t come here to win small pots. I came here to lose big ones.”
364) When muses don’t oozes, then chooses new fuses.
365) Poetry critics, rhetoric-jacketed poetry mugs, spread the politically-correct “do-not-offend” poetry gospel of the authoritarian poetry mafia of the mainstream poetry media, the mainstream poetry publishers, the mainstream poetry universities, and the mainstream poetry awards.
366) One plus one equals three equals the marriage equation.
366) Orgasm: humanity tiptoeing through death’s house to immortality’s safe.
367) Giant butterlfies shimmy up lightposts to balance ideological checkbooks with x-rated harps ideosyncratically above art’s dumpster in the pouring rain where tiny pigeons talk to the cosmos and canopeners pry while worms rhumba in front of a noisy barroom dartboard crumbling beneath sufferable humanity’s relentless onslaught of piercing curiosity.
368) Laughter: joy’s cosmic rose flowering galactically.
369) Politics: the struggle between the struggle for and the struggle against.
370) Bob Kaufman’s poems are golden sardines swimming in seas of ancient rain washing onto shores of magic solitudes crowded with nests of deathless dreams.
371) Home’s a mind at ease with the world, the world’s a home at ease with mind, mind’s the world at home with ease, and ease is a mind at home in the world.
372) Dictators, having nothing to do, just to have something to do, tell everyone else what to do, when to do it, where to do it, and how to do it on pain of death.
373) Exultation: an avalanche of marvels cascading through your eyes into the pool of my dreams swimming in the river of our desire.
374) Foreplay: fingers sculpturing desire into monuments of pleasure.
375) Pursuing free-enterprise capitalism, businessmen pursue their happiness by pursuing your happiness for a profit.
376) Fun: laughter’s sacrilegious heretic iconoclastically blaspheming ceremonial conformity to pain.
377) G(awe)d, a hitherto hypothetical undetected particle, may be a primary constitutent of the universe.
378) Genius: maverick mind magellaning infinity.
379) Government: a dinosauring predator blackspidering business, it’s mate.
380) Happy happens when all your happinesses outweigh all your unhappinesses.
381) Hardship carves a hard niche in a harder world with a hardest life.
382) Hate’s radioactivity escapes from the heart, love’s nuclear power plant.
383) In the Head-Heart Wars, old-guard professors of letters battle new-guard pioneers of literature.
384) A leftist is someone not quite right in the head.
385) Legislators, sooner or later, become labyrinthians labyrinthing labyrinths.
386) Lunacy: politicians borrowing the earth to buy the moon.
387) Matriarchy gives birth to cuntatorship of the governwomb by the governwomb for the governwomb.
388) Art, life’s meaning, and meaning, life’s art, and life, art’s meaning, mean art’s life.
389) Los Angeles, at ro ct, is a blossoming urb angelling upweird.
390) Narcissists, bankrupt egos, can’t pay attention to anyone but themselves.
391) Noetry: word corpses decaying on the printed page.
392) Nostalgia, happiness’s rearview mirror, lives life backwards.
393) Paradise: orphaned dreams sleepwalking counterclockwise through tomorrow.
394) Peace: the world’s greatest poet writing the greatest poem in the history of the world.
395) Philosophers worship life, art worshipping dream, and dream, life worshipping art, and art, dream worshipping life.
396) P(home)s: ink sculptures of earth shattering silence.
397) A poem is a poetry work of poetry craft and poetry art.
398) Poetry’s ear-thrilling eye-thralling language, heart-thrilling head-thralling images, and joy-thrilling awe-thralling messages endure as mankind’s sovereign souvenirs.
399) Poets writing poetry about poets writing poetry about poems is poetryism.
400) Poets, paraphrasers parading on life’s periphery, paraphrasingly paraphrase the mysteriously mysterious mystery of timelessly timeless time.
401) Hot-tempered danger-loving humanoid sexfreex in lust with trisexual zombie nomads scavenge erotic armageddons boulevarding contemporary child’s thrill-seeking voyeur psyche.
401) Prudes 86 69.
402) Reactionaries, revolutionaries revolutionizing revolution, zoom forward to the past and zip back to the future.
403) History: civilizations ghostowning through the mind empiringly.
404) Poetry: armies of emotions corpsing through the heart renaissansingly.
405) Red tape: the systematically systematic systemization of the system.
406) In relationships, women give sex to get love and men give love to get sex.
407) Religion, schools of th(awe)t swimming in the sea of righteousness, floats belly-up in the m(eye)nd of man spreadeagled across the cosmos.
408) Revelation: a moonlit sky illuminating the universe of a garden snail.
409) Science, unzipping the universe to expose g(awe)d, curiously deciphers the hieroglyphics of reality’s smile.
410) Socialists: cornucopian utopians savioring politically.
411) Summer: flower beds around the house full of lovers.
412) Sundown’s sunswallowing sea sunswallows sunswallowingly.
413) Surreal soccer’s amputated leg kicks a decapitated head thru the goalie’s mind.
414) Television: technology anachronizing family life.
415) That mythical bard, The Great American Poet, soars high above tall towns and glides on airy nothings.
416) The Great American Poetry Show eats reality sandwiches in solitudes crowded with loneliness at a coney island of the mind.
417) Kid, that mysterious wonderful freedom-loving miracle of fun, is hammered into that predictable spectacle of unimaginative pain by that overwhelming everywhere obscenity of conformity: BEHAVE!
418) Kids are the ouchiest birth of joy happier than any ouchier life of lonely.
419) Come to live, live to like, like to feel, feel to think, think to know, know to love, love to grow, grow to die, die to go, go to come?
420) Together happily means to get her.
420) Picture tyranny and see authority‘s hand gripping tightly oppression’s whip, suppression’s rip, and repressions’s jip.
421) Nothing to do, nowhere to go, and no one to see are three sides of a bad coin.
422) Washington, DC: a promising land promising promises of more promises.
423) Spontaneously spontaneous spontaneity improvises extemporeanously extemporaneous extemporaneousness.
424 The relationship between woman, consciousness, and man, reality, hopefully brings love, consciousness of reality.
425) Tomorrow hopefully brings you to more awe.
426) Truth: awe-joy-love, belief-knowledge-wisdom, and religion- science-philosophy.
427) Nepotism, cronyism, and opportunism comprise the three essential elements of elitism.
428) Sacrilege happens when worshippers worship worship and worship worships worshippers.
429) Iness, Iism, Iology constitute Iolatry.
430) Sidewalk Jockeys, boulevard spacecases, sparechange passersby.
431) Slavery: freedom from freedom to.
432) Mind’s hand grasps understanding with all six senses.
433) Urth’s that peopled bubble bobbing loudly in a solar glass of water.
434) uSSa’s gland of the freek is a woom of the deepraved.
435) War: animals escaping from cage cities and snarling death to zoo civilization.
436) World Wars 1 & 2 whirled pies into the face of world peace.
437) World War 3 will be the greens against the pinks and reds financially.
438) Youths are revellers revelling in revellion.
439) Liberalism, socialism, and communism, of course, create nonegalitarian societies where the ruling class rules over the ruled class.
440) Classified Top-Secret Government in other words means ofishalldum ofiscaldumb ofecaldump.
441) College Hill: intellig ants, igspeedy ants, ignor ants, arrog ants.
442) Communism, Socialism, and Capitalism more aptly named are bizology, bizism, and bizolatry.
443) Civilization: walls nibbling at the universe.
444) Conformists conform by rebelling against rebellion.
445) Consumerism is dictatorship of the consumer by the consumer for the consumer.
446) Claustrophiliacs love city life.
447) Cities are artifacted artifacts artifacting.
448) Business, christianity for profit, is dictatorship of the boss by the boss for the boss.
449) Bureaucracy’s religion is government of the government by the government for the government.
450) The power of love become the love of power becomes corruption.
451) Coward, that brayvest cowheart being the best cowedly, cowrighteously cowers in the herd of the cowed braying vasstfoully.
452) Creation’s dimple sits precariously on the left cheek of God’s big but.
453) D. Mock Rah! C. will gobble mount up dame pyple, bite dum puple, fart doom poople.
454) Deep Mockery Sea’s Cavern Men club thy papal, bind thy papal, devour thy papal.
455) D(eat)h’s ine(vita)ably ine(vita)ble ine(vita)bility devours all.
456) Death, the emperor of eternity, empires immortally his infinite empire.
457) Desire: fleets of crimson creatures submarining through the mind torpedoing inhibitions.
458) Despair: nostalgia for the happiness you’d dreamed you’d have when you grew up.
459) Entrepreneurs: daredevils tightroping through business on the highwire of chance.
460) Fascism clenches peace’s helping hand into war’s heiling fist.
461) Fear’s wolves stalk the shadows of the avenues.
462) Frustration gets stuck in the doorway and can’t get through.
463) Modern primates wear coats and ties and labor in office trees in a Highrise Jungle.
464) History: abandoned ruins of imagination imagining rebirth.
465) Hitler’s bombasst bombeast bomboast bombusted.
466) Humility, understanding believing, believes in understanding.
467) Ideology always degenerates from dogma to catma to ratma to pigma.
468) Imagination’s full moon reads the mind of a tree.
469) Government’s imperial vanity flexes military missiles in pentagonal mirrors.
470) Intellects: thought artist columbusing mind.
471) Intellectuals: amateur thinkers alexandering thought.
472) Intuition’s eyes front your heart.
473) Ism: pathology graveyarding paradise.
474) Desperation’s umpteen zillion yesterdays count less than one tomorrow.
475) Divorce: laughter decomposing in coffin hearts.
476) The Doorway-Wino Busted-Life Oath says, “I aint never signed no damn entry form to get here an’ I aint signin’ none to leave here neither.”
477) Dream as far as your m(eye)nd can see.
478) Earth: a planetary ear listening for other ears.
479) Ego, I’s citadel of pride, fortresses self.
480) Exipiration proximity inevitability syndrome defines dethdred.
481) Electioneerring: a masquerade of masqueraders masquerading.
482) Liberalism, socialism, and communism really mean tribalism meaning joinshareism meaning you must join the group and share or die and be eaten meaning cannibalism meaning jungle savagery.
483) American: a mer o kin a mor o can a mor o cuz a mor o coin.
484) The Reasons Y are mysteries slipping through the fingers of curiosity’s eye.
485) Poems: heart-guns head-guns, bang bang you’re alive!
486) A poet is an (are)t(is)t.
487) The public: private enemy number one.
488) UFOs are terrestrial timeships visiting from the future.
489) Modern Society: televisitors voyaging, a voyeuring spectatorship.
490) MHNHN: NLXUL LXR.
491) Man: mortality metropolizing time
492) M(eye)nd: deep museful lake reflecting.
493) Mortality is an omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent omnivore.
494) Militarism: gunism and bulletology.
495) Lost Andjoyless: men stare sitting, mons tour seedy, moon star sooty,
mind’s teared setting.
496) Literature: consciousness chronicles, reality journalism.
497) Litichur: oglings, thinklings, inklings.
498) Imaginuity unthinks the thinkable and thinks the unthinkable.
499) Muggers are kids who’d rather go to war than go to work.
500) Creativity: desire industry work, talent artistry craft, genius poetry art.
501) Charm: dimples exacerbating the excruciating exquisiteness of her smile.
502) Bureaucrazy: harmadas of censorships.
503) The literary avante garde is made up of men and women of letters disillusioned with literature.
504) Asceticism: freedom to desire freedom from desire.
505) Despotism is a five-legged fist.
506) Dreams: children gathering flowers forgetting to die.
507) Arse Poetica: po-biz buzz.
508) Architecture: floors – civilization’s shoes, walls – civilization’s clothes,
roofs – civilization’s hat, buildings – civilization’s home.
509) Affection: his fingers playing hide-n-seek in her hair.
510) Poetry Readings: aesthetes aestheting aesthetically.
511) Evolution: ovulation, eve volition, evil eye shun, heave elation.
512) 1945: a plague of city-eating mushrooms.
513) 1975: sigh gone.
514) Abbreviations: GI…POW…MIA…KIA…IOU.
515) Art For Art’s Sake: avantgardians bombardian humanians’ brainians.
516) Egolatry: meness meism meology meolatry.
517) Promaganda: facinorous flapdoodle formicating the public mind.
518) The Rules of The Court of The Last Resort are first there are no rules, second if The Court of The Last Resort needs a rule it makes it up as it goes along, third if you don’t like Rule Number 2, see Rule Number 1, and fourth if you have a problem with Rule Number 1, you get a free vacation for life at The Last Resort – prison without parole.
519) Contemporary poetry, for the most part, is an illiterati toilet overflowing with turd books and fart reviews.
520) Trivolous frivia: the hypocrisy and pomposity of obscurity and ambiguity camouflaging inanity with allusion and quotation to promenade sterility as profundity, lucidity, and creativity.
521) Frank The Yank cranked the dank clankity clank while he spanked his lover Hank at the city tank after a prank at the local bank.
522) Satanism (Stalinism, Hitlerism, Maoism etc.) is not about demonic beings from other dimensions but Satanism is about a political hierarchy here on earth where an individual (whose true status and title is Satan) sits on an omnipotent throne at the top of a tyrannical pyramid of unquestionable authority and holds the diabolical power of life and death over all who swear by oath to give unconditional obedience to the absolute power of that madman tyrant’s insane will.
523) Poet: po et, po eat, po id, po ode.
524) Mysticism: miss tease sees him, miss tease seize him, miss tease ease him, misty seas hymn.
525) Promiscuity: peer miss cute toy, prey miss cute toy, pry miss cute toy, pour mess cute toy, poor miss cute toy.
526) Premierital Sex: car to car, body to body, far too far, naughty too naughty.
527) Philosophy: feel lass sophie, fill loose sophie, fool lust sophie, foul lice sophie.
528) 4N Policy: bomb bomb bomb, shoot shoot shoot, kill kill kill, death death death.
529) Storm’s End: graygraygraygraygraygraygraygraygraygraygraygrayblue.
530) Luv: thigh, hunt dame mighty bull, spear rut, heave, joy, shall, laff in lay, core rapt, awe, eve full.
531) War Nonsense: killed for nothing in the middle of nowhere – pop-you-lay-shun control.
532) T(I)M: i’m time, i’m t(eye)m, (eye)m t(eye)m, (eye)m t(i)m, i’m t(i’m).
533) reinCARnation CRASH: assinine ignoramuses gobbling up the cosmos in one rectal swoop of their unsphinctered minds unimaginatively beating the meat of god’s middle thumb of creation.
534) Home: tree branch, mountain cave, building room, space ship.
535) Don’t go into that alley. There’s alleygators in there.
536) If you believe in the right to bear arms, you believe bears have arms.
537) Live life laughingly but love life laughably.
538) Conformity reigns when once and for all becomes time and time again.
539) You can always smell a corrupt ruling clique by the lousy way they click their hate; you can always smell a corrupt ruling clique by the oily way their grease their dread; you can always smell a corrupt ruling clique by the rotten way they shoot you dead.
540) In the poker world, sucker poker players who just give their money away at the poker table are called donkeys, but some donkeys, the Don Keys, are really sneaky professionals setting you up for a truly big loss.
541) Do not care who’s coming as long as they’re going because they just can’t stay.
543) Orgasm junkies never get enough.
544) Sunset, a topless sky lapdancing on the horizon, grinds down into orgiastic night.
545) Don’t turn your back on the monkey after you finally get the monkey off your back.
546) An economist, presuming and pretending to be a one-man economy, thinks an economist can run the economy all by the economist’s own one self.
547) So you want to be a poet? Welcome to The Litterairy Whirled!
548) Huddled in a distant corner of his own mind, weighing the pros and cons of an existence spiraling totally out of control, Worf The Dworf from Planet Orf suddenly nods off which is a hard slap in the ugly face of smug consciousness.
549) While the baboons keep the buffoons under tight control, the shit-faced Gods throw wild, savage parties which the Goddesses are unable to attend because they are unfortunately in an emotionally disadvantaged state of mind.
550} Miss Fit’s bad temper eventually will turn on herself when nobody else is left in her life to turn on.
551) When Utopia finally displaces Dystopia, government will be no more and anyone who wants to be a politician will be hysterically laughed at as a stark-mad raving lunatic.
552) FXN: four eyes kissing.
553) A reckless poker player will inevitably lose all of the money that player brings to a 9-player casino poker table because the moment that player sits down at that table before that player even plays a hand, the odds are 8-1 against that player ever winning any money, and the only way that player can limit losses and play smart to win over time is first to have a loss limit, then a win limit, and finally a time limit, and whenever any of these three limits is reached in a playing session, that player must quit the game and go home or suffer the rule of unintended consequences and become what’s called in the poker world a fish.
554) You can play a poker hand different ways. You can play your cards, the open cards on the table, the money on the table, your position, the other players, your image at the table, or you can bluff. Any combination of these ways can bring you the pot, but if you only play your cards, you’re the fish at the table.
555) The rule of unintended consequences governs well-intended but misguided anti-business government economic policy because the rule of unintended consequences has no exceptions.
556) Birth: hair-raising, blood-chilling, bone-crushing, heart-rending, mind-boggling, death-defying, breath-taking leap into air.
557) Cardclubs are home to broke-luck, greedy-mooch, card-junkie, poker-bum railbirds who talk a great game but seldom get in the money.
558) When you’re at the poker table, you gotta play as if you have a million bucks in your pocket, or the other players will run over you as if you don’t even belong at the table.
559 Wordplay: wordwork, wordcraft, wordart.
560) The end of knowledge is wisdom. The end of wisdom is freedom. The end of freedom is
prosperity. The end of prosperity is happiness.
561) Shoot the shit long enough and you’ll end up with a lot of dead shit.
562) Picking through literary garbage for the meaning of life is like trying to penetrate the veil of appearances and disappearances through funhouse mirrors.
563) Life’s dead bawdy lies berried in a greatgreen lafterra of s(awe)ng.
564) Writers leap on beauty and beat loveliness to death with pounds and pounds of sentences, a sacred trust confessed by scholars and critics, a holy cult of words, where joy’s cup of happiness becomes a bowl of turds.
565) Whatever desires to happen becomes. Whatever becomes happens to be. What happens to be is. What is will was. What was will be whatever desires to happen.
566) Grown-ups grow down as they grow older.
567) The Modern American Woman is a two-faced, two-timing, double-dealing, back-stabbing, throat-slitting, fork-tongued white man.
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